FIFTEEN MINUTES IN THE WEEDS

by Ulrich Koepf on March 14, 2021 with No Comments

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I’m standing in the kitchen

trying to hold on to my thoughts, knowing all too well that if I stall, I’ll lose my hold on the situation. What do I need to do again? Oh, yeah, “Nelson, I need a gin martini, straight up with a twist.”

“Do you know what kind of gin?”

“Nah, they didn’t specify.” I know if the boss heard me say that, she would get crazy concerned and upset. But, I also know that Nelson, the bartender, has it under control. I ring up a regular martini on the touch screen computer, knowing that it will cover the cost and profit of whatever concoction he makes. Send. Log out. What now? Oh, yeah. I stick my head in the food window, and the heat assaults my eyes. “Heinz, the guy on table 24 wants his Tilapia cut in half, and then blackened on one half and broiled on the other.”

He gives me a look of irritation instead of complaining & says,” Okay. Does he want anything else? Does he want me to eat it for him too? “no” “Okay.” “Thanks.”

Then Hugo, the busboy,

touches my arm and says, “Table eight wants their check.” “Alright. Thanks.” “Also, is table ten having anything else?” “I don’t know, but table one needs more water.” “I’m on it.” he speeds off before I even have a chance to say thanks.

What now? Oh, yeah, Table 31 needs to place a food order, and table four hasn’t even been set yet. “Leah!” calls Naz,( the boss,) ” Yes ma’am?”

“Are you ok?”

No. I want to scream and make a b-line for the front door, but my reply is automatic a defense against panic. “Yeah, I’m fine.” “Okay.” She replies to walk off, but I ask, “Actually, will you take table four’s drink order?” “Sure,” She says, “Thanks.” I start to walk out to table 31 but hear, “Hey Leah! Where’s this martini going?” I check my notes. “The guy on table 24…position two.” Nelson speeds off. “My table needs a refill on their coffee,” says the new girl, “ Alright, just grab the pot and pour.” I wipe the sweat off my brow. What am I doing? Oh, yeah. Table 31 needs to place their food order. I walk out of the kitchen and suddenly remember table eight. I back up, go to computer one, and print out their check.

“Leah, your foods up,”

says Shan, the other boss, “Oh, crap.” I start to walk over and I hear Nelson say, “I got it.” Thank god! “Thanks, Nelson!” As I walk out of the kitchen to go to tables eight and 3, Naz walks in and orders the drinks for table four from Nelson. I look back and see he has my plates in his hands, looking at the ticket to figure out who’s having what. “Okay, I’ll do it in just a second. “ I make a mental note of the drink order, dropoff the check with a smile and a thanks to table eight, and got table 31 to take their food order. Thankfully, they are easygoing and order their food just the way it comes. As I walk to computer one, table 27 stops me, “Miss, Miss!”

“Yes Sir?”

“Can we get some extra dressing?”

“Sure.”

Crap.

I completely forgot about this table. Should I change them for the dressing? Yes. Uli would definitely mention it if I didn’t. Okay, to the computer one I go. Crap! The new girl’s on it with Shan. Thank god Shan’s training her instead of me.

As I speed off to computer two, I grab Hug, the busboy, and say, “This is too much for me to handle. I need you to go around and make sure that everyone has what they need.”

His stare turns into recognition, and he’s off again as I barely remember to say, “Thanks!”

I punch in the order for the dressing, and then the food order for table 31. Now what? I go to the kitchen, run the dressing, and got to table four. They haven’t even looked at their menus yet. “Could you give us another five minutes?” says one man.

“Sure.”
I stop by all my other tables and ask, “Is everything alright?” or “Can I get you anything else right now?”

Once again,

I thank God that everyone has pulled through and filled in all the gaps. Everything’s fine, and table eight doesn’t need any change. I go to get one of my smokes, grab Hugo’s attention, and show it to him. He nods and goes out with the other new girl to show her how to re-set a table for new guests and to keep an eye on my tables.

I slip out the back door, light my smoke, and sit down to ease the throbbing in my feet. Three minutes later, I’m back in the kitchen washing my hands. What now?

“Naz, I call-

“Yes?”

“What drinks are table four having?”

“Two white wines, one Cosmopolitan, and a Dewars on the rocks.”

I punch in the drinks, drain my water glass, and go back out onto the floor with a smile.

THE RESTAURANT BUSINESS SURELY IS A VERY UNIQUE TYPE OF BUSINESS!